The Control Series: Part 10: Codependency = Control
Greetings Magnificent Souls to the Attract Health Build Wealth Blog where we have open and honest discussions about ourselves.
This is a place where we breakdown, breakaway, and breakthrough codependency allowing ourselves to attract health, build wealth and live a peaceful life.
We are tired of being sick and tired. We are tired, but we are not giving up. We KNOW that there is something magnificent inside of us.
Because we are fighting daily, hourly, and by the minute: fighting ourselves, our kids, our spouses, we have to do things differently.
We have to break the cycle. We don’t have a million chances. We have to be happy, NOW. We have to find a way. So how do we do that? How is that possible?
If you look around at what society is telling you, they’d tell you that what we’re doing is impossible.
Yet, it’s happening.
Every.
Single.
Day.
It’s happening through the practice and love that we call Awakening the Magnificent Soul.
We are all Magnificent Souls, and these are our stories of healing!
Today in Episode 48, the last installment of the control series, general thoughts, and a few updates as to what has been going on Attract Health Build Wealth lately, especially some free bonuses that I will touch on at the end.
Before we get into the discussion, please let me know your thoughts about this episode, any feedback you have or anything you would like me to cover on future blogs at epiphanyvault.com Remember, it is a safe place and I would welcome the discussion.
You know, actually, I think I’ll share a nice note I got in the epiphany vault from Jill, she says "Thank you! Just started these podcasts, my story mimics yours so much.”
Aww, Jill, thank you for taking the time to write in. I can’t even describe to you how uplifting it is to hear from you.
It’s really my goal to share my story and to help as many people as I can by doing so, so thank you, again, so much.
And on to today’s ramblings, I’m feeling like this will be a little bit of a different format than it normally is, but let’s see where it takes us.
Because, if I’m honest, my life has been messy lately. At least it has felt like that to me.
Messy as in I’m feeling unrest.
Messy as in my life is not as calm as it used to be.
Messy as in the way that I earn money has changed and I’m having to adjust.
Messy as in I am feeling the effects of a hurting collective unconscious and angry society.
Messy as in the negativity, everywhere, is seeping deeply into my pores.
Messy as in I am forgetting my Soul Maintenance sometimes as it shows.
Messy as in I am physical pain.
Messy as in I have been feeling unmotivated to do the things that inspire me and that I love, like this podcast.
Messy as in I am tuning out all social media even though it helps me with my business.
Things have been changing in my life and I just have not been able to control them.
Oh, what’s that? Control?
Seems like a theme here.
Yep, sure is. I have been feeling unbalanced lately because I have been unable to control a lot of aspects of my life.
If you’re feeling me, you know this is hard.
If you’re feeling me, you might be feeling an oppressive weight too.
Or, you may not.
I just had a very simplistic but profound thought, is codependency just about control?
Codependency = Control
Could it be that simple?
If you saw my laundry list above, could all of those things be so messy in my life because I wanted things to be different?
As if I could control something like a pandemic….
As if I could control the racial injustices that have been going on for centuries….
As if I could control really ANYTHING other than my own damn life. Or, even more so, my own thoughts and feelings about my life.
Again, how simple life seems when looking at it through this lens, when, in reality, we know we can get consumed by all of this negativity. And really, it becomes a bottomless pit, as we all know.
In a codependent sense, control and fighting for control are unbalanced. They are all-consuming in codependency, whether we know it or not. We build our lives around wanting to control people, wanting to control outcomes, or wanting to protect ourselves from all the pain that this causes.
What, hypothetically, would happen if we released ourselves of this control of anything other than ourselves?
Freakin freedom!
What if we could reframe our lives, bust out of codependent patterns, and live our lives on our own terms?!
Yes, jackpot!
This hits real and hard because it hits home. How does it make you feel?
What if we used all of that energy and put it into building ourselves up, working on our inner strength, self-love, and care?
Would we call this a win?
Freakin’ yes.
So, I wanted to touch on a few pointers that I have that has helped me reframe and repurpose this need for control.
I hope these help you as much as they do me.
First, don’t give up on your Soul Maintenance ToolBox. This is crucial. It’s there for a reason. It’s there to keep you balanced. Try to think of your Soul Maintenance ToolBox as your soul food. Just like you need to eat for nourishment every day, your soul needs nourishment to stay balanced.
When I lose, don’t have time, forget my Soul Maintenance, especially for a few days in a row, it is not a good thing.
And, it’s never perfect, sometimes I have to readjust how much time I spend doing each activity, but getting it in is super important.
Here’s another great tip that works wonders for me, when I’m journaling, I reframe my thinking RIGHT THEN and there, and then I turn it into my very own mantra.
For example, I start with whatever is getting me down, whatever is coming up at the present moment, then I move to some reflections about it, why it might be occurring, and how my thoughts and feelings might be structuring this reality. This is just a natural occurrence of my journaling and then I turn those realizations into a mantra.
For example, today’s was love = gratitude.
This doesn’t have to be exactly the same for you, and this kind of just happened and evolved for me, but I would DEFINITELY encourage you to journal.
It doesn’t have to be perfect.
It doesn’t have to be well written.
YOU don’t have to be a “writer.”
These are all limiting beliefs that I told myself, so maybe this is something that you’re thinking as well.
And, here’s the last one, but first let me tell you, in a little more detail how messy my life has been lately.
My codependency has been flaring up…. a lot.
It has been pushing me to a place of almost numbness again.
So many things have been coming up when I have been working on these flare-ups about myself and about perceptions about myself.
My codependency is telling me I need to be perfect.
My codependency is telling me that I need to things to be just so (in this ever-changing world).
My codependency is telling me that I’m not good enough to have a client practice and teach people about codependency.
My codependency is telling me that I’m not worthy to have a good life and make a lot of money.
Look, this is vulnerability, straight up. I told you today is a little bit different.
I want you to know out there that I don’t have all the answers, but we are here, connecting for a reason and I’m eternally grateful for that.
So, with that being said, I want to tell you what I’ve done to level up.
As some of you know, my journey out of codependency was done alone for the most part.
I scared myself into finding a way to get better or die.
That’s what I talk about here and that’s what I want to teach.
My goal is to create a client practice and offer up as many resources as I can that come from a place of learning and experience.
So, I made the biggest and scariest decision last week. And, I made it for me. This is the first time that I am spending thousands of dollars ONLY on investment for ME, not on material things, not on education that everyone around me says I should have, but on ME.
What I realized, is that I have gone a lloooooonnngg way on my own, but, now it’s time to surround myself with support.
I am creating my team as we speak.
I am practicing what I preach. If I will be asking clients to invest in me as your codependency coach, I need to level up and do this FOR me too.
I am knocking down my walls of unworthiness.
So, thank you for being here.
With that being said, a few new things that I have released already.
First, I put together a codependency meditation audio that you can find at magnificentsouls.com. This is a great addition to your Soul Maintenance ToolBox.
That is free to my listeners, so hop on over there and pick it up if you feel the call to.
Secondly, and probably the most exciting thing is that I have opened up client sessions with two payment options, right now, this will 100% change as I work with my coach, but as of this broadcast, I have an hourly rate and a pay what you can rate. So, if you are feeling the call to speak with me, I would be happy to hold space with you. You can book at meetwithlilli.com or go to the attract health build wealth website and it’s under “Work with me.”
So happy to be here with you Magnificent Souls.
Livin’ & Lovin’ 💗
Lilli