Helping vs. People-pleasing

When we aren’t sure if we are helping or being a toxic “people-pleaser,” it’s confusing.

Confusion is a brilliant, self-protective yellow flag that our nervous system & our higher self sends us because it sees something as threatening.

What would be threatening in helping others?
If it’s imbalanced in a toxic way, there are certain cues to look for.

It could show up as:
* High anxiety & stress to DO as much as you can.
* Putting yourself & your needs LOW on the priority list.
* Constantly saying to yourself, “If/when I get _____ done, then I can spend some time on myself.”
* Misalignment with your job/work, in that it feels like a hindrance rather than your life’s mission.

If you identify with one or all of these, it makes complete sense why you wouldn’t be sure if you are helping or people-pleasing.

Why? Because toxic people-pleasing is a pattern first.
And then, an identity because your close circle begins to rely on it.
And then, the cycle continues.

That’s why it seems so hard to break.

The best news I have is that it’s really not as hard as you think.
It’s just a part of you that needs repatterning; you aren’t doomed to fail.

Being able to know what’s helping & what’s not is more than possible.

For me, today, it’s automatic & it’s one of the best skills I have learned.

Healing that pattern is about retooling, relearning, & reskilling the best parts of you.
Then, that becomes your default pattern.

It’s glorious & serene & beautiful.

And it invites your purpose, your limitless love, & gorgeous people in your life that allow you to just BE YOU.

It’s the love I’ve always wanted.
It’s here if you want it too.

In big love,
💗Lilli