Exploitation

When today’s relationships & experiences feel like exploitations of the past…
That bubbling up of guilt.
That unshakeable shame.

Sometimes patterns come in the forms of people closest to us.
Sometimes it’s relationships that we go through, like friendships, romantic interests, or even our relationships with money or job.
Sometimes it’s the anxiousness & anxiety we feel in our bones.

Patterns are sneaky because it takes repetition to know they are there, or sometimes we are blind to them & when we finally find out, we are so deep in them we don’t know how to dig ourselves out of the hole.

But, for some reason, they feel familiar.
And, they feel unfair.

It feels like sometimes your “weaknesses” are so evident that they become your personality & then other parts of your life or people in your life prey on them.

With no boundaries or no identity, this becomes dangerous because you don’t know where you end and where the other person or “energy suck” begins.

We feel like it’s our fault.
& that self-judgment is really hard to shake.

Want to know what I’ve learned?
I’ve learned that I pick up other people’s energy too easily.
I’ve learned that this was a response pattern to cope in relationships where I wasn’t valued for my pure love & soul.

Most importantly, I’ve learned that I AM NONE OF THOSE THINGS.

My shame & guilt were my identity for a long long long time, but today, I know deeply that I am loved & cherished & nurtured by people, things, jobs, etc that I CHOSE to have in my life.

Healing that false identity was a choice I could finally make for myself.
Why? Because I didn’t want to feel intense shame or guilt anymore.

When I started down this healing path, my anxiety lessened & my self-compassion grew.

This is healing.
Healing happens with a support team, not alone.

What choice are you making today?

In big love,
💗Lilli