Special Guest: Transformational Money Coach, Jane Ysadora

Greetings Magnificent Souls to the Attract Health Build Wealth Podcast where we have open and honest discussions about ourselves. 

This is a place where we breakdown, breakaway, and breakthrough codependency allowing ourselves to attract health, build wealth and live a peaceful life.

We are tired of being sick and tired. We are tired, but we are not giving up. We KNOW that there is something magnificent inside of us.

Because we are fighting daily, hourly, and by the minute: fighting ourselves, our kids, our spouses, we have to do things differently. 

We have to break the cycle. We don’t have a million chances. We have to be happy, NOW. We have to find a way. So how do we do that? How is that possible?

If you look around at what society is telling you, they’d tell you that what we’re doing is impossible. 

Yet, it’s happening. 

Every. 

Single. 

Day. 

It’s happening through the practice and love that we call Awakening the Magnificent Soul.

We are all Magnificent Souls, and these are our stories of healing!

Today on Episode 53, I am so honored to welcome Jane Ysadora to the show. We talk about codependency and money, manifestation as a healing process, and learning how to ask for help in a healthy way. 

But, before we get into the discussion, don’t forget to let me know your thoughts about this episode, any feedback you have or anything you would like me to cover on future podcasts at epiphanyvault.com Remember, it is a safe place and I would welcome the discussion.

One announcement before we get into the show is that is that my Codependent to Connected 1:1 Coaching Program is open for enrollment and is closing September 7th. If you feel called to work deeply, to connect to yourself, and drop your codependence and live a peaceful life, all it takes is getting on a 45 minute complimentary Discovery Call with me. We will talk about the program and I would love to answer any questions you may have. I will add the link to set up the all in the show nots and I’ll see you there.

Now, on to my interview with Jane Ysadora, Jane is a Transformational Money Coach who helps people heal what’s blocking their abundance in a trauma informed, spiritually mature practice so they can live the life they dream of. Little did I know but a month or two after recording this talk, Jane would become my coach. It was the best decision I’ve ever made. I know have a thriving coaching practice and am supported in ways that I never thought I would be.

And here is my talk with Jane….

Lilli: All right, Jane, welcome again to the podcast. Thank you so much for coming on.

Lilli I wanted to start with you with the first question that I do with every guest, which is, what do you know about co-dependency, or how has it touched your life?

Jane: That's a great question. What I know is probably less than how it's touched my life. I've put a lot of work over the last decade, going from an unhealthily others-focused person to a more healthily self-focused person, capable of co-creating with others but not taking responsibility, and that's definitely also been a big part of my money and my manifesting.

Lilli: Oh, cool, awesome. What do you mean by self-focused? I have to dive deep here, so tell me a little bit more about that.

Jane: tend to not think so much in codependent, narcissist terms, but more as an others-focused response or a self-focused response. Both of those responses come from similar core wounds, and the co-dependent or others-focused person learns to take all of the focus off of themselves to where they don't even know how they feel sometimes, and only be okay if the other is okay, whereas of course, a self-focused, an unhealthily self-focused or narcissist is gonna be the opposite way. They're unable to envision how the other feels. It's only them.

Lilli: Gotcha, so I'm on your level about... Obviously, I make people's ears bleed with talking about co-dependency a lot, but I'm on a level with... I really... I try to stay away from really strong terminology, too, like narcissism and stuff like that, so I'm on a level with that. I liked how you said that you don't... Or you've experienced or you understand how people can't know how they feel, because I definitely... Like we've talked about before, I was like that way for 37 years, and it turned into a lot of unhealthy relationships, obviously with people, but also with my spirituality, my intellectual connection, financially, which I wanna get into as well. All these different aspects of my co-dependency, I didn't realize until later, paralleled almost every aspect of my life. And for me, it was the not-feeling type of thing, or not really knowing who I was, which is what I talk a lot about here. Do you have any thoughts on any of that long list of things that I just said?

Jane: Yeah, 100%, I think it really boils down to it not being safe to know how you feel there. And not being safe to have your own sense of spirituality or your own opinions, or your your own desires. And I know that in my spiritual journey as well, I went through a long process, having grown up in a fundamentalist Christian cult, where there was one... You were never going to be able to form your own opinion,your own sense of the divine. It was like, "No, there is only this way." So in that way, on my spiritual journey, I think I carried that forward into my adult life with like, "This teacher in front of me to believe this," like, "This partner believes this." It took me a long time and a lot of different... A lot of seeking to find that internal spiritual compass.

Lilli: Yeah. Yeah, that's deep. How did you learn how to do that? I know there's not a specific equation, I have tips that I do on my own, but is there anything that you could say as far as what your experience has been in being in such a unique situation where you can't think for yourself? How did you learn how to be so spiritually aware now?

Jane: A lot of meditation, really is the answer there. Meditation is inherently a self-focused introspective process. I'm a yoga teacher, I have been around the block spiritually, and just a lot of great teachers, really a lot of deep practice and a lot of consistent deep practice.

Lilli: Did you ever run into, when you started meditation... For me, the only reason... I'm kind of leading you, I guess, but I ran [chuckle] into a lot of resistance when I first started meditation, but I realize now, it's in my soul toolbox, is what I call it. And I realize how important that is for me, but I also ran into a lot of resistance, whether that be limiting beliefs, or... For me, I think just maybe it had to be perfect or I had to always be zen, or just... I don't know, I just... There was a lot of hesitation from my side. Did you run into any of that, too?

Jane: Really, the resistance that I ran into is just resistance against a consistent practice, which on any healing, any kind of personal development, personal growth path, consistency is always gonna be the absolute most important thing. And it's not my forte, I've gotten better at it, but especially in the beginning, just trying to keep a 40-day practice, and it was really, really, really hard.

Lilli: Yeah, but it's helped you, like you said, learn a little bit more about yourself. That's awesome, that's awesome.

Lilli: What I think is really cool about you is about the financial stuff that you're doing right now. I kinda just wanna leave it open to you, can you give us a little... Hopefully, if I'm interested in it, my listeners will be, too, and I just wanna start down that path as far as... Can you give us a little bit of background about how you got to be a financial transformational coach and what you're doing now and how you're affecting people right now today?

Jane: Yeah, absolutely. I'm gonna work that one a little bit backwards, if that's okay.

Lilli: Absolutely.

Jane: What I do as... I'm a transformational money coach, transformational abundance coach. The core tenant of what I do and why it's very, very different than other people that are talking about manifesting or abundance, or money or finances or whatever, is the core philosophy of it is that manifesting is a healing process, that abundance is who we are naturally. And if we aren't experiencing alignment with what our souls came to do here, if we're not experiencing alignment with the life that we wanna create, then dollars to doughnuts, there's a wound there. And as you heal those core wounds, then it becomes very easy to create, and the manifesting tools that other people talk about become useful at that point. I got into it just broke. [chuckle] I come from a very large blue-collar family, didn't have any kind of healthy money systems or healthy money beliefs growing up. My parents certainly did their best, but just 'cause it was kinda like what the times were. And then, got married very young, had kids very young, got divorced very young. So found myself a single mom of two small children, just trying to scrape by, like a part-time job so I could still pick the kids up, and teaching yoga, doing healing practices, alongside growing my own personal spiritual path.

Jane: I came to it just wanting more money. Because I needed it. But also, I always had a sense that I was born to make a big impact, and that I was born to create a lot of wealth, but not because I'm especially materialistic. I don't think there's anything wrong with that, but for me, it's really more about knowing I was born to help a lot of people, and wealth is the result of that.

Lilli: Gotcha.

Jane: That might be an incomplete answer, but I feel like I just talked a whole bunch.

Lilli: No, I'm not much of a talker, so I'm just trying to... [chuckle] You hit me, where I got the chills when you said, about the abundance practicing and things like that, because again, here I just tell my story here on the podcast, and that was a huge part of my story. I got so frustrated with The Secret. I love The Secret, and I understand it now today much better than I understood it when I was really struggling. And I was doing everything that it was telling me to do, but nothing was coming to fruition and I got frustrated. But I really think that what you just said, I feel like there's a soul connection there that was missing. Do you think?

Jane: Yeah, absolutely. And that's really when people tend to come to me. My clients that come to me typically have tried manifesting and they've either had some success but it hasn't been consistent, or they've seen success around them but they haven't made it happen. They know it's true. It's resonating with something in them for them to know that it should be working, but it's not. And also maybe feeling a little bit empty with the way they're creating money, wanting something more, feeling that like what I call deep heart desire with... They know that they're here for something, they know they're here for something special, but they're spinning their wheels in their everyday life. That's kind of when people tend to find me.

Lilli: Do you help also... What I found is that I think everything that you said is true, but even so, for me, I was so blocked off from myself and my soul about 10 years ago at that time, that not only there wasn't any way that it was gonna work, but even if I had... I don't know, it was just a very odd situation because I don't even know if I was ready to bloom and flower and conquer, or that I didn't even know... You said an innate sense of wealth, I don't even think that I have that, 'cause I wasn't even attached or I couldn't talk to that part of my body. Does that make sense?

Jane: You probably couldn't even really feel your desires. I think that's a huge part of healing codependence, is learning, "What do I want? What is in my heart? What am I here to create?" And they're so much rearranging, and we so often come in with co-dependent relationships to money or disorganized relationships to the money, where we're like, "I want you, but go away." [chuckle] "I hate money, but please, I want more."

Lilli: Or, "I want this to make me feel better,"

Lilli: I just got the chills. Yes, yes.

Jane: Yeah, our relationships to money really aren't any different than our relationships to our primary caregivers, to our partners. We bring us into every relationship. And that change really. You gotta start right here.

Lilli: Yeah, I think that's the most kind of eye-opening thing that I found out about my financial co-dependence, I guess, without another term, I guess that's what I would say, is that, not only did... I grew up in this family situation, I'm repeating the patterns very well, and I'm taking on not all of the habits, but I'm taking on the mentality in every aspect of my being, that with my relationships, with, like we said, finances... I don't know. And it's still something that, even though I've been working on this for, what, three years now, it's just something that is baffling to me, how everything kind of parallels. You think that if you're co-dependent, it's just because you have relationships with other people, but in reality, it just completely takes over your life in other areas too, which is insane.

Jane: Yeah, absolutely. Food, exercise, sleep, all of it, because it's all... It's not about other people, it's never ever about other people. It's all about us.

Lilli: Yeah, that's huge. Yeah, that's amazing.

Jane: Well, and it's such a powerful thing to heal through. I know for me... Gosh, I wouldn't trade my unhealthily others-focused journey for anything, because being able to reclaim that power, learning how to ask for and receive healthy support, learning how to ask for help in a healthy way, learning how to let people have their own feelings and have their own opinions, while I have my own feelings and my own opinions, and to learn that there can still be safe relationship there, those are such a remarkable gifts.

Lilli: Yeah. And for me, just a couple of days ago, I wrote, I journalled about finances, and I think we talked about this before we got on today, but all the limiting beliefs that I'm having to break about and work through about money, specifically, "Do as I say, not as I do." I heard that a lot in my household. I heard, "Just because I said so," and all that stuff, and that doesn't...

Jane: I've heard a lot of, "It is easier for a camel to fit through the eye of a needle." Did you hear that one growing up?

Lilli: Uh-huh, didn't hear that one.

Jane: It's easier for a camel to fit through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter heaven. Like money was actually pretty heavily demonized in my life.

Lilli: Yeah, yeah, wow, that's huge. Money doesn't grow on trees.

Jane: That's the big one, it's a big one.

Lilli: I wrote them all out one day and I took two weeks and I broke them all down. Not to say that I'm "cured", but I think that if you're listening out there and something is connecting with you as far as your finances... And for me, I lost my job. I lost a couple of jobs, actually. I moved across country a couple of times for relationships or to run away from relationships. And of course, my finance has suffered for that. Of course. Yeah, I wanna wrap it up a little bit, but it's been amazing having you on. I really appreciate you taking the time.

Jane: Thank you so much, Lilli.

Lilli: I know we can go on and on and on. Any time I get on with somebody, it seems like a very short amount of time, but I know that my listeners wanna connect with you. How would they do that? Where do they find you?

Jane: Awesome, and they can find me at Jane Ysadora, so my last name is Y-S-A. So it's like Isadora, but with a Y. They can find me at janeysadora.com. I'm on Instagram at jane_ysadora.

Lilli: Cool. I'll link everything up to make it easy on the listeners out there, but...

Jane: Awesome, thank you so much.

Lilli: My pleasure. Thanks for coming on and thank you all magnificent souls for listening. We will see you next time.