The dark side of being strong

We can actually do more harm than good if we are trying to be strong all the time.
Especially if we get really really really used to being strong for other people.

If this happens enough times and becomes a pattern, we start to drift farther and farther away from ourselves.

In order to be strong, our nervous system has to be constantly activated - especially if this isn’t our natural state, our natural essence.

Women, I’m looking at you (not all women, but quite a few).

For example, I learned to be:
- The chill one. (aka no wants or needs).
- The mediator. (aka the place where all the negative energy landed).
- The fixer. (aka the problem solver).
- The achiever. (aka needing adoration & love).
- The faithful. (aka loyalty before self).

What ended up happening as I kept repeating these patterns through teenhood, early adulthood, & in my 30s was a place where all of my power & energy was directed outwards.

If I wasn’t solving other people’s problems, or being cool, or receiving some type (any type!) of attention, then I felt insignificant, alone, & abandoned.

It flipped the script when I felt like I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders.
Showing up in these ways that were so outside of myself was so burdensome that it took more & more effort to keep it up.

My nervous system was literally stuck in overdrive & a big crash came.

When the crash comes, it’s scary.
Your identity is shaken.
Society shames you for being weak.

And breaking those patterns seems nearly impossible.
Slowing down seems nearly impossible.

The best news I have to for you, if you’re like me, you can heal those parts.

Those wounded parts of you need support & love & re-growth.
Those parts need to help you form your own identity outside of those roles you’ve been in all your life.

When you do, all of your life’s relationships fulfill your purpose.
Life becomes easy & seamless.
& love-focused.
& self-focused.

The world & people around you reciprocate your deep love.
As you show up differently & become who you are meant to be, you don’t have to be strong anymore, you just have to BE.
& that is more than enough.

You are enough.
I promise.

In big love,
💗Lilli