The Negativity Virus
Greetings Magnificent Souls to the Attract Health Build Wealth Blog where we have open and honest discussions about ourselves.
This is a place where we breakdown, breakaway, and breakthrough codependency allowing ourselves to attract health, build wealth, and live a peaceful life.
We are tired of being sick and tired. We are tired, but we are not giving up. We KNOW that there is something magnificent inside of us.
Because we are fighting daily, hourly, and by the minute: fighting ourselves, our kids, our spouses, we have to do things differently.
We have to break the cycle. We don’t have a million chances. We have to be happy, NOW. We have to find a way. So how do we do that? How is that possible?
If you look around at what society is telling you, they’d tell you that what we’re doing is impossible.
Yet, it’s happening.
Every.
Single.
Day.
It’s happening through the practice and love that we call Awakening the Magnificent Soul.
We are all Magnificent Souls, and these are our stories of healing!
Today, in Episode 27, some thoughts about negativity and how it’s been showing up for me lately.
But, before we get in to the discussion, don’t forget to let me know your thoughts about this episode, any feedback you have, or anything you’d like me to cover on future podcasts at the Epiphany Vault.
Remember, you can share anonymously; it is a safe place and I would welcome the discussion.
Last week was a very rough week for me. It seemed like life was throwing things at me left and right and, for some reason, my mind would not let it rest.
A lot of outside pressures seemed to be clamping down and smothering me: diluting me of my self love and self worth.
One reason for my vulnerability and for me sharing this with you all, magnificent souls, is to let you know that whatever pain you are feeling right now, or struggles that you are having, you are not alone.
Things like social media and the media in general, have this way of projecting a certain type of life as perfect, or overly positive, while masking real pain and negativity. And, I think that’s just not realistic.
But, pain and negativity are real.
It is how we deal with it in our lives while simultaneously staying true to ourselves that is the hardest, I think, because, as codependents, we are pushed by so many outside forces.
So, here, today, that’s why I wanted to touch on some things about negativity, in general.
Negativity can come from outside sources, like the relationships that contribute to our codependent patterns.
It sounds so counterintuitive, but as much as I would try to remain positive, upbeat, and “happy” in my dysfunctional relationships; the more negative the other person was.
Putting me down.
Judging me.
Gaslighting me.
Calling me crazy.
Calling me other names.
Or just trying to keep me down in general.
If codependency is a disease of shame and fear, both parties, likely, would share those sentiments but, oftentimes, they would manifest in different ways. If you’re interested in reading more about that, check out this blog post.
For example, just a few denial patterns of more dominant personalities include: lacking empathy for the feelings or needs of others, label others with negative traits, or express negativity or aggression in indirect or passive ways.
And, on the other side of the coin: submissive codependents judge what they think say, or do harshly (on themselves), as never good enough or do not see themselves as lovable or worthwhile persons.
Whether negativity on oneself, or projected negativity on others. It is definitely there.
I don’t want to spend too much time on surfacing negative patterns because I don’t want to dwell, but I do want to call it out.
What I really wanted to focus on is really the pervasive nature of negativity, however it shows up in your life.
First, I want to start with some readings from Eckhart Tolle on what he calls the pain body. This is from “The Power of Now.”
“As long as you are unable to access the power of the Now, every emotional pain that you experience leaves behind a residue of pain that lives on in you. It merges with the pain from the past, which was already there, and becomes lodged in your mind and body. This, of course, includes the pain you suffered as a child, caused by the unconsciousness of the world into which you were born.
This accumulated pain is a negative energy field that occupies your body and mind. If you look on it as an invisible entity in its own right, you are getting quite close to the truth. It’s the emotional pain-body. It has two modes of being: dormant and active. A pain-body may be dormant 90 percent of the time; in a deeply unhappy person, though, it may be active up to 100 percent of the time. Some people live almost entirely through their pain-body, while others may experience it only in certain situations, such as intimate relationships, or situations linked with past loss or abandonment, physical or emotional hurt, and so on. Anything can trigger it, particularly if it resonates with a pain pattern from your past. When it is ready to awaken from its dormant stage, even a thought or an innocent remark made by someone close to you can activate it.
Some pain-bodies are obnoxious but relatively harmless, for example like a child who won’t stop whining. Others are vicious and destructive monsters, true demons. Some are physically violent; many more are emotionally violent. Some will attack people around you or close to you, while others may attack you, their host. Thoughts and feelings you have about your life then become deeply negative and self-destructive. Illnesses and accidents are often created in this way. Some pain-bodies drive their hosts to suicide.
When you thought you knew a person and then you are suddenly confronted with this alien, nasty creature for the first time, you are in for quite a shock. However, it’s more important to observe it in yourself than in someone else. Watch out for any sign of unhappiness in yourself, in whatever form — it may be the awakening pain-body. This can take the form of irritation, impatience, a somber mood, a desire to hurt, anger, rage, depression, a need to have some drama in your relationship, and so on. Catch it the moment it awakens from its dormant state.
The pain-body wants to survive, just like every other entity in existence, and it can only survive if it gets you to unconsciously identify with it. It can then rise up, take you over, “become you,” and live through you. It needs to get its “food” through you. It will feed on any experience that resonates with its own kind of energy, anything that creates further pain in whatever form: anger, destructiveness, hatred, grief, emotional drama, violence, and even illness. So the pain-body, when it has taken you over, will create a situation in your life that reflects back its own energy frequency for it to feed on. Pain can only feed on pain. Pain cannot feed on joy. It finds it quite indigestible.
Once the pain-body has taken you over, you want more pain. You become a victim or a perpetrator. You want to inflict pain, or you want to suffer pain, or both. There isn’t really much difference between the two. You are not conscious of this, of course, and will vehemently claim that you do not want pain. But look closely and you will find that your thinking and behavior are designed to keep the pain going, for yourself and others. If you were truly conscious of it, the pattern would dissolve, for to want more pain is insanity, and nobody is consciously insane.
The pain-body, which is the dark shadow cast by the ego, is actually afraid of the light of your consciousness. It is afraid of being found out. Its survival depends on your unconscious identification with it, as well as on your unconscious fear of facing the pain that lives in you. But if you don’t face it, if you don’t bring the light of your consciousness into the pain, you will be forced to relive it again and again. The pain-body may seem to you like a dangerous monster that you cannot bear to look at, but I assure you that it is an insubstantial phantom that cannot prevail against the power of your presence.
Some spiritual teachings state that all pain is ultimately an illusion, and this is true. The question is: Is it true for you? A mere belief doesn’t make it true. Do you want to experience pain for the rest of your life and keep saying that it is an illusion? Does that free you from the pain? What we are concerned with here is how you can realize this truth — that is, make it real in your own experience.
So the pain-body doesn’t want you to observe it directly and see it for what it is. The moment you observe it, feel its energy field within you, and take your attention into it, the identification is broken. A higher dimension of consciousness has come in. I call it presence. You are now the witness or the watcher of the pain-body. This means that it cannot use you anymore by pretending to be you, and it can no longer replenish itself through you. You have found your own innermost strength.”
He just sums it up perfectly as to how I have experienced negativity in my life.
All of the negativity that I submit on myself or that I attract from others comes from my past or the way that my past has made me feel about myself.
For me, this is not something that I feel all the time, but I do have concentrated times when I’m surrounded by negativity or if someone or something close to me triggers it.
It’s a constant work in progress but when I can recognize my pain body when I get frustrated, flustered, angry, impatient: it helps me to just call it out to my self: that is not me, that is my pain body.
In fact, I’ve termed it the Negativity Virus, but it’s the same pervasive, aggressive state of being that seems to have a mind of its own; What Eckhart calls the Pain Body.
Have you ever noticed that it can just creep in if you’re feeling weak, or lonely, or sad. It’s a compounding energy….like a virus.
It’s crazy to observe, and when you get to that point whereby you are self aware, it’s quite intriguing to watch how it can just float right in.
I just urge you to be as objective as possible and to not put a lot of pressure on yourself to be perfect.
Yes, you will have bad days, weeks, months; and that’s okay.
Negativity is out there and it always will be.
I think it’s in our codependent nature to ignore these feelings, but in the end, you will be doing yourself a disservice if you do ignore.
When you are reflecting in your journal and your calming meditations, if you can teach yourself to call out your feelings as what they are; that self awareness will be key in opening up your door for awakening and a peaceful life.
That’s it for today, Magnificent Souls.
See you next time.
Livin and Lovin💗
Lilli