Boundary Review

How’s your boundary review going?

Still wondering where to draw the line?

There’s been so much buzzing about boundaries…. I’m weighing in.

First off, how did we come to be this person who can’t say no?

Or can say no, but feel really alone?

Or is a little too understanding & helpful?

Hey, I know you have a big big big heart, I have one too.

The thing is, without boundaries, our heart isn’t cherished, isn’t protected, isn’t supported, isn’t loved.

The best thing I’ve learned is that most people, jobs, or whatever want a piece of our time & energy are self-serving.

They will not set boundaries for us until we learn to do that ourselves.

They will take until we say no more.

They will not know until we speak up.

But Lilli, speak up? I don’t even know how.

Heard. I hear you. I see you. I get you.

I know that paralyzing feeling of trying to figure out EXACTLY what to say to get them to respect you, to see you, & to appreciate you.

Here’s the hard truth, no matter how “perfect” we are with our delivery, how much we have thought about it, or how much “advice” we have received, we will never get it right if we are more concerned with THE RESULT rather than THE EXPRESSION.

So, I ask, is the expression of your wants, needs, & desires good enough?

If your answer starts with “Yes, but,” “I wish,” “if only,” or “they should”, you may have some emotional wounds that need healing.

Why? Because you are attached to the result!

Somewhere inside of you, wanting to be heard, seen, understood, & appreciated means love (which, I agree, it does……BUT WITH THE RIGHT, SAFE PEOPLE!).

We get in this pattern of trying to be understood & wanting to be respected & if/when they finally do, we think it means that they love us!

This comes from emotional wounds from unstable households & past romantic wounding where our adaptive response was to learn to be okay with everything. No boundaries then, means no boundaries now….unless you heal.

You can stop procrastinating yourself by healing.

When you do, dayuuuum, when you do…. you learn where your authentic self begins & ends.

Then, the law of attraction will work in your favor because you will make space for that good love that you really truly want.

We all have the answers inside of us.

If I can do it, you can too.

In big love,

💗Lilli