I don't need _______ to validate me.

💗Greetings Magnificent Souls to the Attract Health Build Wealth Blog where we have open and honest discussions about ourselves.💗

This is a place where we break down, breakaway, and breakthrough codependency allowing ourselves to attract health, build wealth and live a peaceful life.

We are tired of being sick and tired.
We are tired, but we are not giving up.
We KNOW that there is something magnificent inside of us.

Because we are fighting daily, hourly, and by the minute: fighting ourselves, our kids, our spouses, we have to do things differently.

We have to break the cycle.
We don’t have a million chances.
We have to be happy, NOW.

We have to find a way. So how do we do that? How is that possible?

If you look around at what society is telling you, they’d tell you that what we’re doing is impossible.

Yet, it’s happening.
✅Every.
✅Single.
✅Day.

It’s happening through the practice and love that we call Awakening the Magnificent Soul.

We are all Magnificent Souls, and these are our stories of healing!

Today, an epiphany that I had recently that has completely transformed my way of thinking.

Don’t forget to let me know your thoughts about this post, any feedback you have, or anything you’d like me to cover on future podcasts at www.epiphanyvault.com.

Remember, you can share anonymously; it is a safe place and I would welcome the discussion.✍️

I come to you today almost 2 weeks from my last podcast because I received a lightning strike from the universe in the form of an epiphany and it has taken me this long to process it.

Although I definitely received the motivation to talk about it, it has been such a monumental paradigm shift that I needed to ingest, write, and talk about it to my closest friends and confidants.

Here’s the backstory, I had been conversing with a male friend of mind that turned in sort of a romantic direction (sidenote: that’s not what I really want to focus on), but as we were texting back and forth as the conversation started to wane, I sent out a self-defeating text that said, “I’ll always be single I guess.”

He did not respond.

In the absence of his response, that gave me time to go back and think about why I sent such a self-defeating text.

I really, at my core, don’t feel that way. I know that I am a great, loving, and kind person. I know this in my heart, I really do.

Why, then, do I do this? Mind you, this is just a specific example, but as I’ve become aware of these actions, I’ve noticed that I do this in other life circumstances as well.

🤔My first thought was, I did that to get him to respond in a positive sense, like, I wanted him to say; gosh no! you’re beautiful! Don’t say that! or something to that effect.

Ladies and gentleman, I am getting really real here, but that’s the sincere truth.

I was trying to lure him into saying something positive.
But why???
Dammit, why?!

So, here’s what I did, instead of waiting for him to answer, I apologized to him for sending such a negative text and I told him that I was trying to get him to say something nice about me.

And, this kind, humble man hit me with this phrase, “You don’t need me to validate you.”

You don’t need me to validate you.
You don’t need me to validate you.
You don’t need me to validate you.
You don’t need me to validate you.
You don’t need me to validate you.

Waves of emotion crashed on me. 🌊

A warm and vibrant light that I can’t even describe engulfed me.

I’m not sure if you can feel what I’m feeling right now, even writing about it.

What he said hit me like a ton of bricks.

Truth: in my head, I know this. I know this. I really do.
In my mind, I know that I don’t need anything or anyone to validate me.

I know that, you Magnificent Soul, if you’ve been doing the work, you know this too.

But, for me, coming from a MAN, whom I have an immense amount of trust in and whom could have NOT empathized with my feelings, this was the truth.

It was the freaking truth.

No one, ever, in my life had said that to me.

And, that has been a turning point for me.

💡What I’m realizing is that this epiphany is in the next step of Awakening for me.

That was when that truth moved from my head to my bones, to my heart.

I feel this truth deeply.

I don’t need anything or anyone to validate me.

Man, think about it….
Social Media
Relationships
Appearance
Job
Sex
Things I do
Goals I have
How loud I laugh
How much I flirt
Texting
Expectations

YOUUUUUUU GUUUUYYYYSS ONNNN AND ONNNNNN AND ONNNNN

So, for the past few weeks, I have been intently honing in on validation (as you can probably tell) in my life.
I have essential been through a two-week boot camp of Awareness and reflection.💪
Awareness and reflection.💪
Awareness and reflection.💪
Awareness and reflection.💪

And, during this time, I have not been perfect.

But, what I can tell you is that I have been detoxing from validation.

I can honestly say it’s like a drug: the excitement, the build-up, the supply, and then the letdown.

Why the letdown?!

Here’s the moral, I think: the let down comes from seeking validation from someone or something to fill you up with something that you think you are lacking.

Love, attention, acclaim, etc.

The validation drug is the realist it gets. And it’s a beast.

The letdown comes from trying to validate your true you with outside sources, when, really, YOU HAVE IT IN YOU!

I’m telling you, I knew this.

Know, I know like I know; with every cell of my being.
I feel it as a sweet ache in my bones.

And, ya’ll, I’m at peace.

😰Seeking validation is exhausting.

How do you all feel about this?

I can tell you this, for me, going forward I know that I will have slip-ups.

I know that I have been conditioned to seek validation my whole life.

I know that seeking validation was an element in my codependency.

But, I, also, know that if I remain vigilant and aware.