Why Resolutions Are Bunk⚡️
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We are tired of being sick and tired.
We are tired, but we are not giving up.
We KNOW that there is something magnificent inside of us.
Because we are fighting daily, hourly, and by the minute: fighting ourselves, our kids, our spouses, we have to do things differently.
We have to break the cycle. We don’t have a million chances. We have to be happy, NOW. 🛑
We have to find a way. So how do we do that? How is that possible?
If you look around at what society is telling you, they’d tell you that what we’re doing is impossible.
Yet, it’s happening.
✅Every.
✅Single.
✅Day.
It’s happening through the practice and love that we call Awakening the Magnificent Soul.
We are all Magnificent Souls, and these are our stories of healing!
Today, New Year’s Resolutions and why I think resolutions are bunk.
But, before we get into the discussion, don’t forget to let me know your thoughts about this episode, any feedback you have, or anything you’d like me to cover on future podcasts at the epiphanyvault.com
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Alright Magnificent Souls, it’s about 2 months past the new year. Did/do you have resolutions? Are you still doing them?
How are you feeling?
If you are or were doing new year’s resolutions, you probably know people around you that are/were doing them too.
How are you feeling about them? How are they feeling?
I did some research to find out what the top 10 New Years’s resolutions are for people around the world?
I’m sure you could guess some of these, but here they are:
Diet and/or eat healthier
Exercise more
Lose weight
Save more and spend less
Learn a new skill or hobby
Stop smoking
Read more
Find another job
Drink less alcohol
Spend more time with family and friends
I have been doing resolutions for years, I’ve used this time and opportunity to kind of fill in the gaps of the things that I felt was lacking in my life. 🤷🏻♀️
And, why not?
Everyone loves a fresh start.
For as long as I can remember, my resolutions have centered around changing things about my body and my appearance and inevitably, as the days turn in to weeks in the new year, it never fails that I “fail.”
Feeling like a failure is bunk.
It’s plain bunk.
And as a codependent person throughout my life, the fear and shame of failure has hit me deep within my core.
Of course, this doesn’t just apply to resolutions, but failed relationships or unhappiness among many other things; I’ve felt like a failure before.
🤕And it was debilitating.
And stepping back, I completely understand the altruistic purpose and the well meaning tendencies behind having a resolution to start a new year.
I guess my problem with a New Years resolution is that it takes you away from the now-ness of the present moment.
It’s too easy to find fault with oneself.
Way too easy.
It’s too easy to strive to have the perfect life, the perfect body, the perfect relationship.
It’s too easy to strive to be someone or something that is defined, not by you, but by society, your past, or someone else in your life.
To me, something like a resolution assumes you are lacking in certain areas of your life or that you are looking for something or someone to make you happy. 😐
If I have learned one thing throughout my journey, it is that not one thing or person is not going to make me happy.
My happiness doesn’t rely on if I am this weight, or as soon as I do this, I’ll be happy.
My happiness is contingent on me and the lens through which I look through my life.
That’s why I’m dedicated to my work and maintenance tools.
Of course, there are habits that you might want to break, which is awesome.
…….But why start in the new year, why not start right now?
Is there a way to want to improve some things about your life right now? Maybe without the pomp and circumstance of a New Year’s Resolution.
Eckhart Tolle says this about present circumstances. He says that in any situation, good or bad, you have three choices: enjoy, accept, change.
And we are talking about right now!
Enjoy where you are right here, right now. 🔥
If it’s not somewhere or if you’re not feeling the way you want to be, call that out and call out your acceptance. “It just is.”
Or, Eckhart does recommend change. And, here’s where I may be challenged on my stance on resolutions. I think Eckhart means to change but without strong desire for future expectations.
Here’s why I think that, when you get caught up in expectations obsessively you move further and further away from the now, from your very present moment.
Oprah has a good quote about working towards change when she says, “Just do the next best thing.”
And, I think that’s an amazing way to think about change. What can I do, right now?
What is the next best step that I can take, right now?
We’ve talked about future projections before and how it can be dangerous to put all of your energy into what might happen; or what he or she should have done; or what if this and that happens.
In my mind, the concept of a resolution is similar to that mind pattern and wavelength.
To me, they just seem so negative in nature!❗
This is bad about me.
I don’t like this about myself.
If I do this, I will be happy.
If I’m like this, people will like me more.
And, if you’re honest with yourself, throughout your resolution history….how many times have you “failed”?
If you’re like me and almost everyone I know, you have.
And how does failure make you feel?
Like shit. Again and again and again.🌀
That’s why I think resolutions are bunk.
If you want to quit smoking, quit, right now.
If you want to spend more time with your friends or family, do it, right now.
Of course, as I do, I have a super deep Eckhart quote that intelligently explains what I mean…
The unconscious assumption behind all such action (like resolutions for example) is that success is a future event, and that the end justifies the means. But the end and the means are one. And if the means did not contribute to human happiness, neither will the end. The outcome, which is inseparable from the actions that led to it, is already contaminated by those actions and so will create future unhappiness. This is karmic action, which is the unconscious perpetuation of unhappiness.”
Life is fun! Life is curious!
What fun is waiting for something to happen in the future?!
Just do it now!
Here’s another thing about change that I’ve been thinking about…..be intentional.
I think diving into the deeper meaning behind “I want to have a six pack.” You may find out what the real and true motivation for that resolution might be.
I am only speaking from experience here, but when I broke it down as to why I wanted to change things about my body. It was for others. It was the way society told me I should look.
No wonder I couldn’t find motivation. No wonder I kept failing. The happiness was neither in the means or the end, because the motivation wasn’t mine.
I guess that’s why I think the current manifestations of resolutions are bunk.
Are they your resolutions, for real?
Or are they projections on you, to be someone/something that you truly are?
And, as we know, when we buckle on those pressures; we lose ourselves. Again, speaking from experience here.
My call out to you is two fold: figure out why, truly figure out why. Then, take a long deep breath to harness all of your powers then exhale until the very last molecule of oxygen has left your body; then start now.
You may be listening to this podcast in March or October this year. Good! It’s all the same.
That’s it for today, Magnificent Souls.
Also, a programming note, as you can probably tell, I have reduced production of the blog as of late to once a month or once every two weeks, whenever I get inspired.
See you back here soon, thank you for listening!
Until next time.
Livin & Lovin 💗
Lillii