A New Way to Think about 💗Self-Love💗

Greetings Magnificent Souls to the Attract Health Build Wealth Blog where we have open and honest discussions about ourselves. 

This is a place where we breakdown, breakaway, and breakthrough codependency allowing ourselves to attract health, build wealth, and live a peaceful life.

We are tired of being sick and tired.

We are tired, but we are not giving up.

We KNOW that there is something magnificent inside of us.

Because we are fighting daily, hourly, and by the minute: fighting ourselves, our kids, our spouses, we have to do things differently. 

We have to break the cycle.

We don’t have a million chances. We have to be happy, NOW. We have to find a way. So how do we do that?

How is that possible?

If you look around at what society is telling you, they’d tell you that what we’re doing is impossible. 

Yet, it’s happening. 

Every. 

Single. 

Day. 

It’s happening through the practice and love that we call Awakening the Magnificent Soul.

We are all Magnificent Souls, and these are our stories of healing!

Today, a little bit about self-love.

But, before we get in to the discussion, don’t forget to let me know your thoughts about this episode, any feedback you have, or anything you’d like me to cover on future podcasts at the Epiphany Vault. 

Remember, you can share anonymously; it is a safe place and I would welcome the discussion.

I thought it would be interesting to talk about self-love for a couple of different reasons.

I was inspired by something I read, recently, that was about taking care of oneself. 

And, I’ve, also, noticed through all of the things I read and consume daily, the term “self love” gets thrown around very cavalierly, in my opinion.

And, then thinking about what it took for me to go from self hatred (even if I didn’t want to admit it, it was evidenced in the way that I thought about my self and the people I hung out with) to true, un-abashed self love.

Do you all see “self love” everywhere?

I never really noticed it until I started looking for it. Quotes, Instagram posts, stories, t-shirts.

I think it’s great and it’s an amazing reminder, but I, also, think that the superficiality and the overuse of the term is kind of taking away from it’s real meaning.

And that’s what I’d like to explore today.

In my journey to awakening, I can say that I experienced a sort of “fake” self love. 

I was doing ALL OF THE THINGS that the books, articles, influencers, gurus, all of them.

I was doing everything that they were telling me to do.

It was frustrating because this formula was supposed to work: it was supposed to make me happy, to not be depressed, to be wealthy, to make me skinny and on and on and on.

All in the name of, among other things, self love.

Here’s my problem when I see “self love” as a hashtag or a t-shirt; it’s superficial.

And, stick with me here, yes, you can definitely DO things for yourself, take yourself on a date, get your nails done, pamper yourself.

But, and here’s the kicker, from my experience UNTIL self love moves from your head, which is where it was for me BEFORE my awakening, to your BONES, the true effects won’t be felt.

And, when it does that, I think that the manifestation of true self love is different.

I think true self love is taking care of yourself and taking care of your soul.

As a codependent, I can definitely say that was the hardest thing to do and hardest thing to learn, as I am awakening, myself.

Here’s what I mean:

Self-love is standing up for yourself. 

You love yourself enough to put YOU first. Yes, you have family; yes you have pressures and obligations and many things in your life that COULD BE prioritized before you.

You realize that by doing this, by loving yourself before others, you are better able to love and be available for other people in a better and more loving capacity.

Self-love is speaking your truth.

In the throes of codependency, the hardest thing for me to understand was “what is my truth.” I had so long been disconnected from my inner truth, my inner gut, my inner knowing that I really didn’t know up from down anymore within myself.

It has taken a lot of work to be able to tap into my inner truth, now, but I can definitively say that because I love myself, I listen. I train myself to listen. I force myself to write or create if I’m confused. 

Many times, in my codependent life, because of the dynamics in my relationships, my inner truth was silenced and loving your true you, just how you are, in this moment is the greatest act of love that you can offer yourself.

Self-love is saying no.

For me, this is THE HARDEST. I strive to be a nice person, yes, I do. In every aspect of my life, I wanted to please.

Saying no, made me feel bad about myself, it made me feel like I was letting other people down.

Other’s happiness was prioritized over mine.

When self love is no, it means that you are protecting yourself from harm.

When self love is no, it means that you’d rather spend your time on something or someone that you like.

When self love is no, you are listening to your intuition; not listening to the other voices in your head or the other people around you telling you that you are crazy, too sensitive, or wrong.

Self-love is doing what you say you will do.

In a way, I have prided myself on integrity for my entire life. So much so, that I have drawn strict lines in my life, trying to make everything black or white.

When, in fact, life sometimes is grey. It just is.

In this respect, I think self love is doing what you say you will do, when it comes to taking care of yourself.

Again, as codependents, we put our needs, wants and desires as second, third, or fourth priorities in our lives, but, really, we need to make commitments to ourselves.

Kind of like, a self love pact.

If a decision that we make does not hold up to those standards, do we have the inner integrity to own up to that?

Which is a great segway to the next one….

Self-love is setting boundaries.

YES!

As I have blossomed through my awakening and I have been able to observe actions in myself and others objectively, I find it amazing how some people can so easily set boundaries, but others cannot.

I am in the latter category.

Boundaries allow us to speak our truths.

They allow us to maintain a safe personal environment: physically, mentally, and spiritually.

And, lastly….

Self-love is being responsible for yourself.

I’ve talked about this on the podcast a lot, but staking claim in your own life is something that YOU MUST DO.

For me, it was either do this or die.

What is it for you?

No one will be able to do this for you.

I knew when this happened when I felt all of thoughts I was having (good and bad; negative and positive) move from my head to my bones.

I knew, WITHOUT A SHRED OF A DOUTBT, that no one was responsible for me, but me.

Claim this, magnificent souls, and hug this to your heart and to your soul, because you are worth it.

So, I guess what I’m saying today, is I think that self love is more that things you DO, self love is a state of mind; it is a life paradigm that weaves its way throughout your life.

Thank you, Magnificent Souls.

Until next time,

Livin’ and Lovin’💗

Lilli